Being Kinder to Yourself


After reflecting with a coaching client recently I realized we all have a need to be a little kinder to ourselves. Maybe you are thinking the same thing! Even if you’re not exactly mean to yourself, I think we all could benefit from a little more kindness. Here are a few suggestions that have been immensely helpful.

First take a personal, honest, inventory of the thoughts you have throughout the day. What is it you say to yourself upon awakening, when you look in the mirror, while you are driving, working, drinking coffee?  Being mindful of our inner thought process can set the tone for the whole day. An easy question to align those sabotaging thoughts: “Would I say this to my child?” ohhhh Ouch!

Know you are worthy. You are enough. You are the bomb baby!!!!  Some of us tend to carry unproductive beliefs we have learned in our past that no longer serve us. Those feelings run very deep and deserve our questioning to determine if they are true. Start to see the fears that your negative emotion stems from and take steps to align with the beautiful, worthy, wonderful, and amazing person that you are.

Ask a friend or family member what they love about you. Write down some things that you like about yourself. Pull them out and read them when those pesky fears creep up. It’s time to put those negative emotions in check!

Do nice things. That sounds easy but really, when is the last time you have really put forth some effort to do something nice for yourself? So, think about this – If you were going to do something nice for someone else, what might that be? A thoughtful arraignment of flowers? A card with an inspiring message? A night out for some yummy food? Well do that! Treat yourself to a movie. Take a nap.

Don’t tell anyone, but when I have had a down day, I order take out, make a picnic on my living room floor with a sappy chick flick followed by painting my toes. Everything gets better when glitter is involved!   🙂

Pay an honest compliment to someone. I have found that when you sincerely lift another it attracts the same kindness right back, and it feels so good…

Journal. Keep a specific journal that only kindness abounds. Give it a name. I call mine “gratitude”. Even in some of my toughest times I have made it a habit to turn to my journal and write all that is good in my experience. Get simple and honest about it. On one occasion, I’m sure it was apparent that I had smoke coming out of my ears, I was determined to give it a try. I gathered my journal and sat in my garden. Reluctant to pick up my pen, I started simple. I wrote: “I am grateful for the grass”, (hey- it’s honest!). As I continued to write I began to see the situation with eyes of kindness and it gave me a whole new perspective.

Having compassion. I cant help but think of this one time when we had a litter of precious bulldog puppies. I was out running errands and as I returned I could hear a faint cry of one of them. The top was left off our sprinkler box in the yard and one puppy had fallen in. As I saw his sweet face, I was overwhelmed with compassion to want to help him and soon he was his playful self.

I believe we all have had times and felt scared and helpless. To be kinder to yourself, recognize when you feel like that stuck puppy. Allow yourself to feel compassion in that desire to improve your situation.

This list could go on and on. If it inspired a  self-kindness idea for you, leave it in the comment section.